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Milk Carton Skeletons

by Steve Alexander

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1.
A nervous breath, a broken sigh In these you left me wondering why Tell them I’ve gone out singing Of hopeful thoughts, of younger days As I revealed myself in ways Recorded church bells ringing The summer nights recurred the same You thought about me when you came Then knew you couldn’t stay Cause they were coming to take you away Coming to take you away from me But you liked it But what was the point of it anyway? Enough of lessons I should have to learn And bridges that I need to burn What was the point of it anyway? Nothing is forever when you’re 17 Now things are always what they seem My shower mat was smeared with bugs My bedroom floor in souvenir mugs The fan above me buzzing The things we said last night they gleam Upon my face the telescreen And through the morning listens I said your parents loved you still In your own world you’d wait until They were dead to say Cause they were coming to take you away Coming to take you away from me But you liked it But what was the point of it anyway? Enough of lessons I should have to learn And bridges that I need to burn What was the point of it anyway? Nothing is forever when you’re 17 Now things are always what they seem A million people tell me that the world ain’t always right So if a million people go to change it I might too The visions I could never have when I’m lying wide awake Walking down the waking streets on the routes they often take I would never dream of simple things again I would never dream of faces more than friends Cause that’s what growing up is Your body knowing when it’s the end But what was the point of it anyway? Enough of people that will never learn And bridges that I need to burn What was the point of it anyway? Nothing is forever when you’re 17 Now things are always what they seem
2.
How was the dress? It was green and sparkled in light How was the mess? They were cold and looking to fight For the first time stood a chance With my childhood in their glance To all the mothers who used to watch me play To all the fathers who'd see me burn in Hell today Do they still trouble you? Caused all you asked was How was the dress? How was the cake? It was thin and stuck to the plate How was the music? All her grandparents closed their ears I hope at least you danced When I did all the men changed stance To all the mothers who used to curse your name To all the fathers who'd see it all like Sunday games Do they still trouble you? Caused all you asked was How was the dress?
3.
Every single day I walk down the street And I see these people in the place we'd meet The home of the watchman in the 4th Ward Whose Baptist daughter goes to Our Lady of Lourdes Called you on your birthday, in a card I bought Told you my top schools bet you already forgot But yes, of course I still I think about you I do, I still think about you And time is moving in between us In between states and telepathy we use up I say matured while you say endured And life is moving in between us In between souls and people that we use up I stay compelled while you stay withheld On the flight to Myrtle, through the monsoon rain This old man's shirt says The South Will Rise Again As we picked through clothes at the Salvation Army People givin' dirty looks and you say hardly In the Calabash House by the rental boats Had something to tell you but you flagged down the host And yes, of course I still I think about you I do, I still think about you And time is moving in between us In between states and telepathy we use up I say matured while you say endured And life is moving in between us In between souls and people that we use up I stay compelled while you stay withheld The Southern girls prance down the boardwalk from the sands Lotion-lathered, soda-drinking, marked with golden tans I was once a belle like them, so stupid, young and free Go on and talk to them, and maybe you'll get lucky I don't want them that way, but I couldn't say that You say you'll love me forever, except for that All God's children will be forgiven so I will see you there But for the time being I'll stay away and never tell you where And yes, of course I still I think about you I do, I still think about you
4.
5.
Blithe Smile 01:27
Blithe smile you gave me Tell me when you're free Give me that look that says You can't wait to get me alone Give me a night with you To show you what remains unknown The best that you'd ever have That's saying I'm up for grabs I don't wanna go with strangers Claiming that I'm legal age I don't wanna act like I have Settled in a budding stage Blithe smiles you took from me
6.
The night bled gold when I was sealed Upon my bed, thy words they healed This wretched heart become a shield Stroking my hair, thy voice appeal St. Joseph in your wedding spoons St. Lucy sees through empty rooms St. Patrick cleanses evil words St. Francis sings with morning birds You take me home with you Tell you the things I wanna do to you Gather my blessings, watch my blood as it pools Abandon me guessing, now I’m one of the fools The evening’s parties are a rush of sin And lest you know whose house you’re in I gaze upon you like a prize to win I kiss you hard into that growing grin St. Nicholas gives us children toys St. Anthony chases faded joys St. Catherine burns the factory down St. Agnes lowers your modern gown You take me home with you Tell you the things I wanna do to you Gather my blessings, watch my blood as it pools Abandon me guessing, now I’m one of the fools Deny me, validate me Suppress me, undress me Declare me, announce me Touch me, call me your same Love me, serve me Surprise me, unravel my brain Teach me, follow me Ravage me, take my pain
7.
8.
With each trip down, I seem to long for the city life, the busy sights And if I should move to the Bronx You can come watch Yankee games with me In the cheapest seats And if I should move to the deserts Of Arizona, New Mexico Past the Navajo cliffs we’ll stroll Stay in roadside motels, neon glimmering in the darkness If I leave here I’ll never come round again But I’ll just be awhile my friend Forever staying on the East Coast Born and raised here And if I should move to the segregated ruins of Baltimore Or Italian sections of revolutionary Boston Sun kissed, tropical, Florida If I leave here I’ll never come round again But I’ll just be awhile my friend I don’t wanna leave here now But I know I gotta leave here somehow Gotta find someplace where nobody knows my Name, or who I am And after years I’ll return again Buy a large old house on Grand Everywhere I go nothing is like home But you have to leave here they say But I’ll never leave here, no way
9.
At the diner and we take up three tables But I don't care, yeah I don't care Manicotti and a wet ice cream soda Spilling everywhere, my feelings everywhere And the cashier is screaming pay all together We put out twenties and say We need change please In the alley in our mermaid costumes yeah And it's raining and the wigs are sticking to our hair And all I'm thinking that this Is what high school really is A mess, a mess, a mess, a mess A beautiful mess I'm saying as it's pouring This shit was never boring to me
10.
11.
Buried under snow Now it’s time to go Summer kept us warm Now your heat I mourn I miss you like you died Though you never joined my side And I've wanted you for my whole life So close but now I’m gone And I was ready to give you my whole world If you only would hold on Remember all the times that we were missing 'Cause there was no place to go Remember all the nights we thought of kissing But in quiet no one knows When the blizzards come And there is no place to run And you hate the life you chose I won’t say I’ve froze Show up at my door Embrace me to the core If you’d only how me some respect When you had the chance If you’d only show me that you cared To brave this new expanse But never more than a friend could I be to you Heart could’ve been yours and beating true Of promises you made to you Some harder cut to keep With that cut me deep So I set you free

credits

released November 19, 2018

Dedicated to the cast of Peter and the Starcatcher

Music & Lyrics by Steve Alexander

Cover by Briana Bene

Additional photography & design by
Briana Bene and Steve Alexander

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Steve Alexander Wilmington, Delaware

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